What Is The "Do It To Me" Syndrome and How To Breakthrough Its Hold

  • By Karen Nowak
  • 07 Jan, 2016

And How To Breakthrough Its Hold

I've Gone Away

I first heard of the “do it to me look” when a friend mentioned it about her horse.

 Working with my own horse, Annie, I came face to face with the Do It To Me Syndrome . Annie had learned it from humans. Where had they learned it?


Humans are indoctrinated into the belief:

Something outside of them is in control .

Something outside of them can fix it or them .

Something outside of them will take care of what they themselves are responsible for.

Something outside of them knows better about what is good for them.


Inundated by a subliminal message you veer from personal responsibility. Giving away your power of what is right for you and your body. You disconnect from feeling.

You strive to only feel good. Never okay with your range of emotions.

 

Big business, marketing, pharmaceutical companies and government began to decide what is good for you. What was traded in the process? What did you lose?

Told what is appropriate to do or feel and what is not leads you to not trusting yourself.  I.e.“Don’t cry that didn’t hurt” when you just skinned  your knees. This innocent statement, and many like it, can lead to disassociation from pain. Creating a reason to look outside yourself, you can’t trust how you feel or what you think.

 

In relation to your animal do you try to train them to behave in a certain way to perform a tasks.

No need to feel good about it. Can you relate to that in your own life?

To carry this thought  farther; how much better does it feel when your input is part of performing the task?

How does that feel in comparison to being “trained to do a repetitive task? How would you feel? Wouldn’t you rather get what you were being “told” to do over with.


Getting back to my mare, Annie, she chose to go inside to a place that felt better to her. She learned it was in her best interest to get through requests made of her, even if she didn't feel good about it.

 

How often do you hide from what you feel because it doesn't make sense or feel good? Disassociate from it?

Feeling good on the inside changes the outside world and how you relate to and take part in it. For both you and your horse.

 

What is a Syndrome?

Definition from: Merriam-Webster's Medical Dictionary by Merriam-Webster Inc.

  A group of signs and symptoms that occur together and characterize a particular abnormality.

  In reference to the Do It To Me Syndrome the abnormality is the giving away of power and what you are responsible for. The assumption that things happen to you is incorrect. You are a participant even if by default.

 

In relation to horses, the syndrome came about from doing things to horses, not with them. Where their input is neither requested or required. Resulting in shutting down in interactions with humans.

 An Example:  You are trying to teach your horse how to do a flying lead change. Your horse already knows how to do them without you. It is both of you learning the language of the exchange to execute the request.

You  have an idea of how it should go. Without the feel your horse’s input you are in essence attempting to force them to go along with you.

Find your way to the movement, together. Each open, each searching for the feel to get to the freedom of the space where the lead change occurs. Hold the vision and feel within you and the flow of feel your horse is contributing.

 

In humans the syndrome came about by being conditioning to respond to outside sources. Conditioned to perform a certain way and rewarded,  you stay out of ridicule and trouble. The same is true for your horse. Bringing a lot of pressure to always be right and fear being wrong.

 Awaken and reconnect to your internal wisdom and trust.

 

10 Ways To Breakthrough The Hold

It takes commitment and diligence to change the belief that what you need is outside of you.

  •  Let go of  your old way of thinking.
  •  Be diligent in recognizing where your focus lies throughout your day, everyday.
  •  Recognize the pattern that looks to an outside source to make decisions that are best served made by you. E.g. health care, retirement,    your money etc.
  •  Pay attention to how many times in a day you look outside yourself for an answer or to blame the world for your plight.
  • Take responsibility for your choices. Don’t blame anything or anyone else for them.
  •  Learn how YOU feel.
  •  Learn to trust yourself.
  •  Show up for your life, don’t live it by default.
  •  Ask questions. Observe others and then make your own decisions based on what you feel inside.
  •  Connect with your own heart. Do you feel good about your day, your life? If not explore ways to change it.

I am not suggesting that outside sources can’t help you . Or, as an outside source to your horse you can’t request something of them.

If you or your horse, are not connected to the present moment you are acting in a mechanical or habitual manner. With no feel involved.

How can you connect to feel, if you are not connected to the moment. How can you connect to the moment if you are a victim of the belief the outside world controls your life?

When you explore submission to your beliefs you can move beyond blind allegiance to them. 

When you feel better in the moment you will help your horse do the same. Horses live and process differently than humans giving up a thought for a better thought and feeling. Humans want proof first due to past conditioning. 

It’s Not As Hard As It Sounds

You are a powerful being.  Your innate wisdom is waiting for you to hear it.

Get help from outside sources. But, don’t give it your power.  Explore if it feels right. Choose what to embrace and integrate into self.

There is no ambiguity in searching outside of you to find the path to feeling good. If you stay connected to what you feel inside.

Your thoughts will get distracted, much like your horse’s, by the world around you. Bring them back to the path that is taking you to feeling good inside and out.

Observe how your horse embraces and embodies a good feel, time and time again and how slowly over time unwanted behaviors dissipate. Use it as an example to emulate.

Travel in or through unfamiliar territory with your horse in the dance of life you as you dismantle the abnormality of the Do It To Me Syndrome.  Live the life you choose, not one designed for you.  Experience monumental growth by shifting where your thoughts, feelings, and power reside.  

For a more in depth look at how you were conditioned to think read Unraveling Ties That Bind .

Help me get the word out share my blog. Thank you.

Next Week: ?

A HOLISTIC APPROACH to your ANIMAL’s HEALTH CARE

By Karen Nowak 13 Feb, 2017
 Answering this question honestly, and changing yourapproach if necessary, contributes to you building a well-rounded health-care plan for your animal. Waiting until an illness or disease arises places you in a position of reacting, and not in the optimum mind-set to make informed decisions based on research. Creating a holistic approach involves incorporating the concept that both you and your animal are more than just
physical beings. Traditional medicine addresses physical symptoms. Alternative modalities encompass the mental and emotional aspects that present themselves in the body as imbalances, known as diseases.
By Karen Nowak 17 Oct, 2016
I am often asked the question “Why does losing my cat (dog, horse etc) hurt worse than losing humans in my life? I feel guilty because it hurts more.”

When I was asked that question I thought back to the death my horse, Chris, to find the answer.

Her death had left me emotionally devastated. I wasn’t aware of all she had been in my life. Without conditions. The hurt seemed stronger than losing humans I had been close to. It wasn’t until the loss of my parents, that I was able to experience the difference.

Only then could I understand it was judgments I made, and the perspective I took that kept me in emotional pain about the difference.

Chris and I had come together at a pivotal time of personal growth and change. No human knew how insecure I felt on the inside during that time of my life.

I matured in many ways on her back. She had my heart and supported me, as I matured into an adult with a federal job and a mortgage.

I became more confident in many areas of my life, from riding her. I trusted her with my heart and life. She knew me in ways no human could. When on her back our energy fields become one. I could never hide my feelings from her, she always knew what my heart didn’t always want my head to know. Chris knew things about me no human could see. She judged none of it.
By Karen Nowak 17 Oct, 2016
If you have ever had an animal that went missing,even for a few minutes, you have experienced the many emotions that take over.
Finding lost animals is wrought with fear, anxiety, panic and lack of control.

If the animal has escaped to go out on a jaunt it could include joy on their side not on yours. There are as many variables, emotions, and situations as there are animals.

We as the human know the inherent dangers of what could happen. They on the other hand, such as in the case of a Beagle, may be just following a scent. Something they were bred to do, unaware of the dangers that might surround them.
By Karen Nowak 25 Jul, 2016
Rocky and Mia,  brother and sister Puggles, have been at Freedom Reins for about a month now.

Understanding their new life has come at their own pace. Life changed dramatically, the day they were surrendered to the shelter in St Maries ID. That day did not make them victims.
By Karen Nowak 21 Jul, 2016
You may be saying I have read this all before. Yes you have. How much did you commit to when you did? Universal law doesn't let you pick which laws you use and which you ignore to get the life you long for. Okay I am willing to do this, but not that, no,no I don't want to give up that. Just a little bit of it won't affect the outcome. Universal law and clear and we can't pick only what we like as if we are ordering pizza toppings.

Healing yourself, not blaming the outside world, clearing up your language of negativity in all thoughts, forgiving yourself, taking responsibility for what you have created, not judging what you have created, just to name a few are part of transformation to a higher vibration of self. These and many others are imperative to moving into the life you desire.

Healing and balancing your mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical bodies is also crucial at this time of unprecedented change.
By Karen Nowak 20 Jun, 2016
Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.
— Anonymous

Owners of dogs have noticed that, if you provide a dog with food, water, shelter and affection, they will think you are god. Whereas owners of cats are compelled to realize that, if you provide a cat with food, water, shelter and affection, they draw the conclusion that they are gods.
―Christopher Hitchens, The Portable Atheist: Essential Readings for the Nonbeliever
By Karen Nowak 20 May, 2016

Some will say this is a faery tale, but being about a very real feline, who shall we say does not embody the demure attributes of a faery, It, is simply, a Tale of a Tail.

Charlie, the main feline of this tail, lived with my aunt for many years. Coming in a long line of very large yellow cats my aunt had in her life, all named Charlie, he was of indeterminate age in the records. The Charlie this tale is about was the last my aunt would have on this earth. . My matante and Charlie lived together for many years, always sharing their daily meals. My aunt holding the food in her hand, and Charlie obligingly eating it. They shared an interesting diet. what my Aunt ate, Charlie ate. The selection was large and varied, donuts to water chestnuts, could be found on the menu. Their favorite delectable delight, unanimously voted upon, was most assuredly pepperoni. Hardly a balanced diet for a cat. But both were full and happy, Charlie not being your normal cat. After all, this feline, ALWAYS got what he wanted. Charles Persistent T Cat being his full name.

By Karen Nowak 20 Apr, 2016
These were the words of wisdom that my dog Moxie, originally known as Noni, spoke to me well into our relationship. Moxie was a
Portuguese Water Dog (PWD). What set her apart was that she was born with everything the breed didn’t want. She was improperly coated, had short legs, and a unique head. Some felt she was an embarrassment to the breed and should be euthanized. 

I was living in WoodstockValley, CT when I received the call from the PWD Rescue that they had a female they wanted to place that had “issues,” I didn’t let it deter me. My other PWD had personality to spare and wefelt he would like a companion,as our other dog was very old.
By Karen Nowak 05 Apr, 2016
What language do you use with yourself throughout your life? Is it one based in uncertainty and imperfection? Or, ever growing trust in self?

Wanting and Choosing are Two Different Things
Universal energy does not see wanting something as choosing something. It responds to “wanting” by remaining in a state of wanting.

Implied Additional Meaning
Filling your request with negative connotations will not get you what you desire.

Statements such as “Universe, I don’t want to live in lack. I don’t want be alone, anymore. I am tired of being sick; I don’t want to feel this way anymore” hold implied meaning of what you believe to be true. There is no room for more than one meaning. Your belief, and the feeling attached to it, will always trump, win, and create your reality.
By Karen Nowak 08 Mar, 2016
Do you find yourself saying any of these things or variations thereof when you feel stuck? Often not even knowing the reason.

" Oh, I feel so stuck"
I am so stuck"
I'm stuck and I can't seem to move out of being stuck"

And a million other variations on STUCK, IMMOVABLE energy.
More Posts

A HOLISTIC APPROACH to your ANIMAL’s HEALTH CARE

By Karen Nowak 13 Feb, 2017
 Answering this question honestly, and changing yourapproach if necessary, contributes to you building a well-rounded health-care plan for your animal. Waiting until an illness or disease arises places you in a position of reacting, and not in the optimum mind-set to make informed decisions based on research. Creating a holistic approach involves incorporating the concept that both you and your animal are more than just
physical beings. Traditional medicine addresses physical symptoms. Alternative modalities encompass the mental and emotional aspects that present themselves in the body as imbalances, known as diseases.
By Karen Nowak 17 Oct, 2016
I am often asked the question “Why does losing my cat (dog, horse etc) hurt worse than losing humans in my life? I feel guilty because it hurts more.”

When I was asked that question I thought back to the death my horse, Chris, to find the answer.

Her death had left me emotionally devastated. I wasn’t aware of all she had been in my life. Without conditions. The hurt seemed stronger than losing humans I had been close to. It wasn’t until the loss of my parents, that I was able to experience the difference.

Only then could I understand it was judgments I made, and the perspective I took that kept me in emotional pain about the difference.

Chris and I had come together at a pivotal time of personal growth and change. No human knew how insecure I felt on the inside during that time of my life.

I matured in many ways on her back. She had my heart and supported me, as I matured into an adult with a federal job and a mortgage.

I became more confident in many areas of my life, from riding her. I trusted her with my heart and life. She knew me in ways no human could. When on her back our energy fields become one. I could never hide my feelings from her, she always knew what my heart didn’t always want my head to know. Chris knew things about me no human could see. She judged none of it.
By Karen Nowak 17 Oct, 2016
If you have ever had an animal that went missing,even for a few minutes, you have experienced the many emotions that take over.
Finding lost animals is wrought with fear, anxiety, panic and lack of control.

If the animal has escaped to go out on a jaunt it could include joy on their side not on yours. There are as many variables, emotions, and situations as there are animals.

We as the human know the inherent dangers of what could happen. They on the other hand, such as in the case of a Beagle, may be just following a scent. Something they were bred to do, unaware of the dangers that might surround them.
By Karen Nowak 25 Jul, 2016
Rocky and Mia,  brother and sister Puggles, have been at Freedom Reins for about a month now.

Understanding their new life has come at their own pace. Life changed dramatically, the day they were surrendered to the shelter in St Maries ID. That day did not make them victims.
By Karen Nowak 21 Jul, 2016
You may be saying I have read this all before. Yes you have. How much did you commit to when you did? Universal law doesn't let you pick which laws you use and which you ignore to get the life you long for. Okay I am willing to do this, but not that, no,no I don't want to give up that. Just a little bit of it won't affect the outcome. Universal law and clear and we can't pick only what we like as if we are ordering pizza toppings.

Healing yourself, not blaming the outside world, clearing up your language of negativity in all thoughts, forgiving yourself, taking responsibility for what you have created, not judging what you have created, just to name a few are part of transformation to a higher vibration of self. These and many others are imperative to moving into the life you desire.

Healing and balancing your mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical bodies is also crucial at this time of unprecedented change.
By Karen Nowak 20 Jun, 2016
Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.
— Anonymous

Owners of dogs have noticed that, if you provide a dog with food, water, shelter and affection, they will think you are god. Whereas owners of cats are compelled to realize that, if you provide a cat with food, water, shelter and affection, they draw the conclusion that they are gods.
―Christopher Hitchens, The Portable Atheist: Essential Readings for the Nonbeliever
By Karen Nowak 20 May, 2016

Some will say this is a faery tale, but being about a very real feline, who shall we say does not embody the demure attributes of a faery, It, is simply, a Tale of a Tail.

Charlie, the main feline of this tail, lived with my aunt for many years. Coming in a long line of very large yellow cats my aunt had in her life, all named Charlie, he was of indeterminate age in the records. The Charlie this tale is about was the last my aunt would have on this earth. . My matante and Charlie lived together for many years, always sharing their daily meals. My aunt holding the food in her hand, and Charlie obligingly eating it. They shared an interesting diet. what my Aunt ate, Charlie ate. The selection was large and varied, donuts to water chestnuts, could be found on the menu. Their favorite delectable delight, unanimously voted upon, was most assuredly pepperoni. Hardly a balanced diet for a cat. But both were full and happy, Charlie not being your normal cat. After all, this feline, ALWAYS got what he wanted. Charles Persistent T Cat being his full name.

By Karen Nowak 20 Apr, 2016
These were the words of wisdom that my dog Moxie, originally known as Noni, spoke to me well into our relationship. Moxie was a
Portuguese Water Dog (PWD). What set her apart was that she was born with everything the breed didn’t want. She was improperly coated, had short legs, and a unique head. Some felt she was an embarrassment to the breed and should be euthanized. 

I was living in WoodstockValley, CT when I received the call from the PWD Rescue that they had a female they wanted to place that had “issues,” I didn’t let it deter me. My other PWD had personality to spare and wefelt he would like a companion,as our other dog was very old.
By Karen Nowak 05 Apr, 2016
What language do you use with yourself throughout your life? Is it one based in uncertainty and imperfection? Or, ever growing trust in self?

Wanting and Choosing are Two Different Things
Universal energy does not see wanting something as choosing something. It responds to “wanting” by remaining in a state of wanting.

Implied Additional Meaning
Filling your request with negative connotations will not get you what you desire.

Statements such as “Universe, I don’t want to live in lack. I don’t want be alone, anymore. I am tired of being sick; I don’t want to feel this way anymore” hold implied meaning of what you believe to be true. There is no room for more than one meaning. Your belief, and the feeling attached to it, will always trump, win, and create your reality.
By Karen Nowak 08 Mar, 2016
Do you find yourself saying any of these things or variations thereof when you feel stuck? Often not even knowing the reason.

" Oh, I feel so stuck"
I am so stuck"
I'm stuck and I can't seem to move out of being stuck"

And a million other variations on STUCK, IMMOVABLE energy.
More Posts
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